When did I arrive here? January 2nd. Just like anything new, I showed up in Minnesota without the slightest clue as to how the coming days would play out. I pretended to. I read each of the 6 or so recommended books, but it felt like trying to memorize a string of numbers. Without any examples to compare the topics to in my life and work, the words on each page felt like they were written in another language. Not until I staggered out of my first sales call did any trainings or readings kick in, and even then it was as if I had digested only the first paragraph of the first book. Like any skill or occupation, sales has a learning curve that I’m just getting started on. Now seven weeks into it, the steepness of my curve has begun to lessen. I’m beginning to learn what I like about sales and what I could live without.
Making a sale feels like a mix of riding the Superman roller coaster straight downwards, getting a perfect 100 on a difficult test, and watching Landon Donovan score the winning goal in the 2010 World Cup to advance the USA. Oh, and also being high on every drug ever created. I spend 99% of my work time not making a sale, so when the euphoric moment does finally arrive, I do everything I can to embrace it. I crunch the pen in between my thumb and forefinger and listen intently as the credit card numbers slip through the lips of my new customer. When the final touches have been made, I straighten up in my chair and pour over that glorious piece of paper to ensure that I haven’t made a potentially fatal mistake. All the hard work and worry has culminated in just a name, an address, and a few numbers, but how utterly fantastic they are!
There is a specific point in some sales calls in which both parties loosen up. It’s another part of sales that I really love. Each call starts with the typical formalities, in which I introduce myself and, most of the time, they hang up. Every once in a while, however, they listen to what I have to say. Once they realize that I’m a human being with thoughts and feelings, and I in turn loosen up, sales becomes extremely fun. These moments are great energy drivers for the day. It’s the little things, ya know?
There are other aspects of sales that I really appreciate. Working on a sales team is an awesome way to progress through work hours, as each day brings about a new set of hilarious phrases and funny stories that liven up the place. Also, although customers can be fickle, when I get one that is happy to talk and interested in the product, it’s extremely rewarding. In the same way, having someone kindly tell me “no” instead of leading me on for two weeks is similarly enjoyable. Maybe the most important thing to know about sales is how immensely challenging it is, both mentally and tactically. Even though it wears on everyone at different points, the challenge of it all is probably what brings people like me back to my cubicle every day. I dig that.
The flip side of sales is the dreaded drought. It’s at these times that I really start to question what the hell I’m doing. It’s as if someone has attached a device to my vocal chords that emits a frequency that scares anyone who hears me away. Confidence falters. Is it me? Why is everyone around me making sale after sale? What am I doing wrong? Unlike other occupations, there is never an obvious answer to what’s going wrong, no error to pinpoint and correct. It can also turn into a vicious cycle if I start to strain too hard and put too much pressure on myself and the customer.
As touched on earlier, a big part of being on a sales team is seeing other people be successful all around me. Hearing a teammate tell me a story of how they just nailed down a huge sale can damage my confidence, ego, mood and outlook. I don’t believe that the “last sale story” is ever told maliciously, but it does sometimes leave me wondering why I haven’t done made that HUGE sale. This is just one example of the serious incentive issues on sales teams. On one hand, everyone on the team is working towards filling up the stands of a sports team, but on the other hand, everyone is competing with everyone else to put the most people in those seats. My teammates are also my competition. It’s totally weird.
Every 20 calls or so, I get someone who doesn’t appreciate my call, and are not afraid to let me know about it. Perhaps skin can grow thicker, but, for me at least, I don’t know if it will ever grow thick enough to shield me from not feeling something when the disembodied voice gets angry. And as many times as I try to tell myself that I’m not here to piss anyone off, in a way I am. I’m here to do my job and, every so often, that means infuriating someone else. Sometimes even worse than being yelled at and hung up on is being completely hung out to dry. Often the disembodied voice will respond as minimally as possible to my questions, leaving me feeling like less of a human and more of a robot. It’s like they haven’t spoken a word in 50 years and are still getting used to the concept. When this happens, I have to pry little words like “a” and “the” and “yea” out of their mouths like I’m trying to open up a clamshell. So, to summarize, never being able to predict or trust the person on the other line is really discomforting. It creates a “you vs. the world” mentality. This contrarian ideology is not easy to embrace, and when I leave my desk to reengage as a normal member of society I tend to realize how much easier acting naturally is and pine for more time as myself.
Sales comes with a lot of pressure. When I’m not selling, I have a tendency to freak out and question my own worth in the job. This is true with almost any position, but I’ve felt like it’s magnified in sales. Because sales is so tremendously stats driven, life becomes a fight to drive up your revenue as high as possible. We all put a ton of pressure on ourselves to keep this little number in our heads continuously ticking upwards. At the same time, we all know that everyone else on the team is doing the same thing. The competition is extremely direct. The pressure drives long hours, which can become a drag at times, and the only way to overcome it is to work more hours. Not an ideal concept for pursuing other projects.
When is my time in Blaine, MN up? Option #1 is I “graduate” in 1 week and get hired by an MLS team the following week. Option #2 is I stay on until the end of March, and get hired by an MLS team in early April. Option #3 is that I stay on until the end of April, at which point I go home or get hired. There’s a lot riding on each alternative, a perfect example of sales’ cutthroat culture. Here’s how I look at it: If I succeed, I’ll be able to enjoy the aspects of sales that I love, and, if I fail, I won’t have to deal with the parts of sales that I’m not fond of. Who says the glass is half empty?
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